| Smooth translation: |
For the elderly, for the sick and for children, winter
is as if it were a mossy rock, half buried in the grass,
a predatory beast, with ruthless incisive teeth and claws.
To it is said "In spring, are you clement?
And you now about your realm are roaming
And warmly clasp in greeting the hand of the Spring
sprite who makes green footprints."
Notes on the translation.
1. I forget why I mentioned the rock before the beast. If I had had the time, I
might have change the translation here.
2. Mossy. The source has "on which moss can grow". Presumably the relevance of
"can grow" is that it is so still for so long a time that moss can grow. But I
decided not to be too finicky here about translating "can grow", since it is in
the nature of rocks that they are still for a long time, especially if it is a
"sgen", half buried in the ground. I considered rendering "moss(y)" literally,
with "ddhenqgwor", which, if placed at the end of the line, would provide a
further sound echo with "vehrvor" and "osqror". But I settled on "dthoddhe",
because it could describe not only moss on a rock but bristly hair on the hide
of a beast; I take the rock to be what the beast is like - still, waiting,
half-hidden.
3. I took "big hunting cat" to mean felix panthera, so initially rendered it as
"ghaaghgha", which has that meaning. But it didn't seem that the felinity was
crucial: what was crucial is that it is a predatory beast. So I used the more
general term "kkhadsro", whose meaning also explicitly has an element of
predatoriness.
6. I took the "we" of the source text ("we ask") to be a generic "we", so left
it implicit in the translation.
7. "it": I added the explicit "it" ("To it is said") in order to help the next
translator. But in an ordinary text I'd have left it implicit.
8. "warmly clasp the hand in greeting". The word in the source text means
"greeting, handshake". I went for the less bland and more particular option in
translating it.
9. "sprite": "khnqyvva" means a naiad/dryad/nereid-like being, rather than a
god; a khnqyvva is the spirit or soul of a thing, not a god that controls it and
is external to it. "khnqyvva" fits the context much better than god, since in
the text one is implicitly greeting the Spring, not only the god of Spring.
Furthermore, the version with "khnqyvva" would make perfect sense to a Livagian
weltanschauung, whereas a version with a more exact translation of "god" would
immediately transpose the text into some alien mythology, rather than reflecting
a universal experience of winter.
11. I forgot to translate "dear" in the source text ("dear god"), but perhaps
the "warmly clasp the hand" gets across the dearness of the greetee.
10. The brevity of the Livagian and the alterations to word order made it hard
to preserve with fidelity the lineation pattern of the original. |
| Translation of previous torch |
Winter is the same to the old, to the sick and to children,
Like a big cat hunting,
Like a rock on which moss can grow,
And like shameless teeth,
And like sharp claws brought to the hunt.
So we ask it:
"Art thou clement in Spring?
Thou art wandering in thy kingdom.
Thou art greeting the dear god of Spring,
which is leaving green footprints behind."
Notes on the text received.
I couldn't work out the syntax of the first sentence, viz the relationships
between "winter", "the old, the sick, and children", "a big cat hunting", "a
rock on which moss can grow", "shameless teeth" and "sharp claws brought to the
hunt". Or rather, my best guess at the syntax didn't yield a very plausible
meaning. So I decided to go for the plausible meaning. |
| Glossary/mini dictionary |
NULL-. In names of words = 'unpronounced'.
NULL-EVERY. Has two complements, the second of which is NULL-
PROPERTY. NULL-EVERY expresses a universal quantifier that
quantifies over the members of the set expressed by the
first complement. "Every member of the set expressed by the
first complement has the property expressed by the second
complement."
NULL-PROPERTY. Has two complements. The first is a Raisee,
NULL-VARIABLE. The second complement contains elements that
bind the NULL-VARIABLE. E.g. "[NULL-PROPERTY [NULL-VARIABLE]
[anda]]", where "anda", = "person", has one argument which
is bound by the NULL-VARIABLE Raisee, means "(the property
of) being a person".
NULL-VARIABLE. Expresses a variable. Has no complements.
NULL1. NULL1 has two complements. The first is a Raisee. NULL1
copies the meaning of its second complement; i.e. NULL1
refers to whatever its second complement refers to.
bflnqoh. "G is the case in the world as experienced by F". Has
one complement. The G argument is bound by the complement.
The F argument is bound by the nearest Raisee.
bfyssy. "has compunction, inhibition, scruples, restraint,
decorum, superego". Has one argument, which is bound by the
nearest Raisee.
bghoh. "F has properties it would have if it it had property
G". Has one complement. The G argument is bound by the
complement, which is NULL-PROPERTY. The F argument is bound
by the nearest Raisee.
dloehj. "occurs now". Has one complement and one argument,
which is expressed by the complement.
dthohddhe. "F is moss, or dense short-trimmed lawn, or velvet,
or pile carpet, or cilia, or short-cropped hair, (etc.)
at/on G; and X is the case". Has one complement, which
expresses the X argument.
dzohwsq. "is (during) Spring, is part of the events that
constitute springtime". Has one complement and one argument,
which is expressed by the complement.
dzowsq. "is (during) Spring, is part of the events that
constitute springtime". Has one argument, which is
expressed by the nearest Raisee.
e. Valency indicator. Has one complement, which expresses a
predicate. 'e' indicates that the predicate has an F
argument and a G argument, that the F argument is expressed
by the nearest Raisee, and that the G argument is expressed
by the second-nearest Raisee.
eh. Valency indicator. Has two complements. Indicates that the
predicate has a G argument, bound by the nearest Raisee,
plus an F argument, bound by the second complement. The
first complement expresses the predicate.
er. Has one complement: NULL-PROPERTY. "er" expresses a Kind
(as in 'mankind', 'womankind') and the kind is defined by
the property expressed by its complement. E.g. "er [NULL-
PROPERTY [NULL-VARIABLE] [anda]]" = "the Kind corresponding
to the property of being x such that x is a person" =
"personkind".
gsrirj. "is a child". Has one argument, which is bound by the
nearest Raisee.
gwayffy. "is elderly and infirm". Has one argument, which is
bound by the nearest Raisee.
gzawsq. "is (during) winter, is part of the events that
constitute wintertime". Has one argument, which is bound by
the nearest Raisee.
jahw. "is very much not the case". Has one complement. Has one
argument, which is bound by the complement.
jy. = jysq.
jysq. Existential quantifier. Has one complement, NULL-
PROPERTY. "There is something/someone that has the property
expressed by the complement".
kakkhj. "F is claw of G".
kaymbre. "be clement/lenient, show clemency/leniency, soften a
hard line". Has one argument, bound by the nearest Raisee.
kehsse. "G cuts/gashes F with sharp blade (cutting
instrument); and X is the case". Has one complement, which
expresses the X argument.
khlahl. Has three complements. Lists the members of a set.
khlncla. Pronoun. "a certain X; I and you can identify which;
the referent's file is open/active in your mind (discourse-
old) -- definite, discourse-old".
khnqyhvva. "G is a dryad, naiad, nereid, sprite, a
spirit/personality animating inanimate entity F; and X is
the case". Has one complement, which expresses the X
argument.
kkhahgsro. "Predatory beast G stalks, hunts, preys upon F; and
X is the case". Has one complement, which expresses the X
argument.
lu. "thee/you (collective)".
maza. "is in good health". Has one argument, which is bound by
nearest Raisee.
ncryh Has one complement. Means "Is [complement] true?"
NULL-AND2. Has two complements. The meaning is that each of
the complements is true.
oeh. "and". Has two complements. The meaning is that each of
the complements is true.
oj. Nominal valency indicator. Has one complement, which
expresses the predicate. Indicates that the predicate has a
G argument, which is bound by the nearest Raisee, plus an F
argument, which is bound by "oj" itself; that is, "oj"
refers to the F argument.
osqror. "is green". Has one argument, which is expressed by
the nearest Raisee.
punqgaa. "G rules over sociogeographical domain F".
sgen. "is a rock not covered by vegetation that protrudes from
vegetation-covered ground". Has one argument, which is bound
by the nearest Raisee.
thkahka. "F is tooth of G; and X is the case". Has one
complement, which expresses the X argument.
thnjahr. Direct speech introducer. Indicates that the speech
is quoted verbatim and without misleading ellipses. As a
predicate, it means "F says [quoted speech] to G".
toehddha. "F is
footprint/indentation/track/symptom/effect/impression of G;
and X is the case". Has one complement, which expresses the
X argument.
u. Valency indicator. Has one complement, which expresses a
predicate. 'u' indicates that the predicate has an F
argument and a G argument, that the F argument is
unexpressed, and that the G argument is expressed by the
nearest Raisee.
vehrvor. "F roams about place G; and X is the case". Has one
complement, which expresses the X argument.
zehw. Nominal valency indicator. Has two complements.
Indicates that the predicate has an F argument, which is
bound by the first complement, plus a G argument, which is
bound by "zehw" itself; that is, "zehw" refers to the G
argument. The second complement expresses the predicate.
zoh. Valency indicator. Has two complements. Indicates that
the predicate has an F argument, bound by the nearest
Raisee, plus a G argument, bound by the first complement.
The second complement expresses the predicate.
zolljmmw. "G clasps hand/arm of F in friendly greeting".
zuh. Valency indicator. Has two complements. Indicates that
the predicate has an F argument, which is unexpressed, and a
G argument, which is expressed by the first complement. The
second complement expresses the predicate.
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