The Relay Museum

Sent:

He who produces magically enhanced potatoes which are capable of
understanding shall be given a gift consisting of zibbles by order of
the king. -Rutadadsi
It has been discovered that magically enhanced potatoes become
sentient and declare war on us.
Therefore, those who produce magically enhanced potatoes shall be
given a full complement of zibbles.
These zibbles shall punish them, and might also eat the potatoes.

Sent:

A king thinks of his declaration of authority as the result of eating
the root of knowledge given (to him) by the furry creatures (>
foxes).
Those who eat the magical root of knowledge are enlightened and
declare war on the people.
Therefore, I will give the group of furries someone who has be given
complete knowledge by eating the magical root.
The foxes will punish him and maybe they will eat the root.

Sent:

"A long time ago, according to legend, a Sarantarek ate a mysterious
drug root that was desired by the Chehaleskoi, as she desperately
wanted to rule the Empire." — King Rrutnaati
It is said that if one eats the root, they will learn information that
makes it possible for them to both start and control a war. Thus,
anyone who desires to discover and eat the root must be turned over to
the Chehaleskoi. The Chehaleskoi will certainly punish them. The root
is theirs alone.

Sent:

"Long time ago, it is said, a tyrant ingested a drug that made him
desire power over people; he desired desparately to rule an empire."
-- King Rrutnaati
What he ingested, gave him the knowledge that made him able to start
and control a war. Thus, what he desired, found and ingested, punished
himself.

Received:

"In the oldest time, people say, a tyrant ate an herb that caused him
to desire power over people; he desperately desired to rule an
empire." -- King Bloodletter
What he ate gave him knowledge that made him able to begin and conduct
war. Thus what he desired, he found and ate, he punished himself.

Sent:

"Once upon a time, a king ate an herb, and it made him want power over
people. He desperately wanted to rule a kingdom." -- The Bloody King
The herb that he ate gave him knowledge, and thus he was able to wage
war. Thus he found and ate what he wanted, and then he punished
himself.

Sent:

"All the way upriver, all the way north, a king eats herbs and it
causes him to want power. He wanted to rule the kingdom very much."
-- The Bloody King
The herb that he ate gave him knowledge, so that he could be able to
wage war. So that he found and ate that which he wanted, and then he
punished himself.

Sent:

At last being upstream in the north, the king is eating plants as
medicine and they make him become hungry for power. He wants very much
to rule the country.
About the Bloody King
The medicine that was eaten gives knowledge to the king that enables
one to make war. Therefore he finds the desired thing, eats it, and
then he punishes himself.

Sent:

After being at the source of a river in the north for a long time, the
ruler had been eating many different plants which acted as drugs and
it caused him to become hungry for power. He really wanted control of
the country.
about the bloody ruler
He got the thing he desired because the plant which he ate, gave the
ruler, the knowledge to attack. Then he ate and then punished himself.

Received:

A long time ago, there was a king at the source of the northern river.
He ate a plant which made him think bad thoughts, and which created in
him a desire to be more powerful. Therefore he wanted to expand his
kingdom.
About a bloodthirsty king
He found the desired thing because the plant that had been eaten by
the ruler gave him the knowledge to attack. Then he ate, and he
attacked him on purpose.

Sent:

Story of an ambitious warrior chieftain.
Long ago there was a chieftain who lived in the land near the source
of the northern river. One day, the chieftain dared to try some strong
magical herbs. They made him think ambitious thoughts, and they made
him desire that he would be more powerful. Having these ideas, the
chieftain really wanted to conquer much more land which he would then
rule over. And he was indeed able to achieve this goal, because the
magical herbs had given him the courage and knowledge to fight a
battle. The chieftain ate them, and then he attacked and defeated his
enemies.

Sent:

(This contains singular 'they'. Culturally appropriate, and my source
didn't specify the commander's gender either.)
The story of the ambitious army commander
Once upon a time there was a commander who lived near the spring of a
river north of here. One day the commander happened to try strong
drugs. The great power intoxicated them and gave them an idea. Being
ambitious already, the power made them wish to be famous, unique and
powerful. By that thought this commander wanted to conquer a great
deal, many regions, in order to rule over them.
And see! it happened that they could achieve it! Because the drugs
gave them bravery and the knowledge to fight a battle, and they
attacked, hit and beat the enemy.

Sent:

The story of the ambitious general
In the spring a while ago there was a general living by a river in a
northerly province. Once the general tried a strong potion. And great
power poisons, it gives you strange ideas. Our hero already had plenty
of power, and a single great wish. The idea of the general was to
conquer many provinces, and then rule over them.
Hey! Be brave! Because this potion poisons the minds of men, we must
go to war and learn to fight. And then attack, beat and defeat the
enemy.

Sent:

The story of the powerthirsty war leader
Long ago in spring there dwelt a war leader near a river in a northern
land. One sunflight the general curiously ate a powerful drug. The
drug poisoned his mind and threw strange ideas at him. He had great
power and a single enormous wish. He threw himself the idea of
conquering and ruling many lands.
Listen up! Be brave! They fail to understand that they don't need to
fight because this drug has poisoned their minds. While that is so,
because they are agressors, we will attack them, defeat them, and stop
them.