The Relay Museum

Sent:

Winter is the wolf that takes the old, the sick, and the very young
Winter is the hard rock on which nothing grows
Winter is the cruel beak and the sharp talon

And so we beg you, bounding boy of spring, dance over the earth
So that the sun your mother will look down upon us
And flowers will spring from your footsteps. 

Received:

Winter is a wolf which takes the old, the sick, and the youngest.
Winter is a rock upon which no plant is able to grow.
Winter is a cruel beak and sharp claws.

Because of this, we pray to you, who are the bounding-along boy of
spring. May you dance over the ground
So that the Sun which is your mother may look down upon us
And flowers grow up from the path you have taken. 

Sent:

The cold season resembles a sabre bear which seizes old people, ill
people, and very young children.
The cold season resembles a rock; on the upper surface of this rock,
vegetation cannot endure.
The cold season resembles a ruthless beak and/or sharp talons.

For this reason we plead with you. We say: "You resemble a jumping hot
season's boy. May you dance over the ground. Then may the daytime star
which is your mother see us and may beautiful vegetation continue on
your route." 

Sent:

To avoid making certain ambiguities and alterations too harmful, I
added "translator's notes"

Winter is like a wolf who captures old people, ill people, and very
young children.
Winter is like a rock; plants cannot grow on this rock
Winter is like sharp claws or merciless teeth*

Therefore we ask you "Will you resemble a playful boy in the
spring**?
May you dance*** on the ground. So may the sun, who is your mother,
see us. And may beautiful plants continue to be on your route"

*Literally "merciless bird's mouth" [there is no word for "beak". I
struggled with this, and decided that the spirit of the text would
best be served by "merciless teeth", but added this footnote to,
hopefully, allow my successor to figure out what the original was.
:-)]
**Literally "jumping boy of spring" or "boy of the jumping spring"
***Or jump or run in place [run without a goal] 

Sent:

Flood-time is comparable to the predator that stalks the elderly,
sick, and children.
Flood-time is comparable to the bedrock that does not sprout plants.
Flood-time is comparable to a beast's remorseless teeth and sharp
claws.
Because of this:
We ask you, "Will you be idle in planting-time?"
"You might skip* over the land."
"Because of this,
You might greet Creation with affection.
And good green plants will exist on your path."

*lit. move playfully or childishly

Comments: Well, the fact that this seemed to be about the seasonal
change -- something that the Darynese view somewhat differently than
most people (the language started in an Egypt-like ecosystem) and that
is still tied to religion (they aren't one to throw out an idea that
works, just tack on new bits whenever) -- means we might be heading
towards a creation story sooner than we think. 

Sent:

The rainy season is like the elderly, the sick, children and caracals
on the hunt. It is like the rock that cannot grow plants. It is like a
predator's remorseless teeth or its sharp claws. Consequently, we ask
you, "Are you kind during the planting season?" You wander through the
soil, and greet Ilue with love, and greenery trails in your wake. 

Sent:

Winter is like old people, like sick, like children,
like lynxes a-hunting.
It is like a rock on which no moss grows.
It is like remorseless teeth
or the sharp claws of a predator.
Thus we ask you,
"Are you generous in spring?"
You wander about the land,
and greet the loving god of spring,
who leaves behind a trail of green. 

Sent:

Winter like the old, like the sickened, like infants,
Like great cats hunting.
He [is] like a stone on which moss cannot grow,
Or like sharp claws of hunters.
Therefore we ask you:
"Are you generous in the springtime?"
You wander through the land;
You greet the loving god of spring
Who leaves behind a green trail. 

Sent:

Winter resembles the old, the sick, the children.
It resembles a great hunting cat.
It resembles [a] stone, over which moss cannot grow.
It resembles shameless teeth
Or sharp claws borne for hunting.
Therefore we ask it:
"Are you generous in springtime?
You wander through the kingdom;
You greet the loving god of spring
Who leaves behind green tracks." 

Sent:

Winter is like the old, the sick, and the children,
And like a big hunting cat,
And like a rock from which the moss cannot grow,
And like teeth which have no shame

    Or sharp claws that are carried to the hunt. 

So we ask it:

    "Are you gracious in springtime?
    Wandering in your kingdom,
    Greeting the beloved god of spring,
    Who leaves green trails." 

Received:

Winter is the same to the old, to the sick and to children,
Like a big cat hunting,
Like a rock on which moss can grow,
And like shameless teeth,
And like sharp claws brought to the hunt.

    So we ask it:
    "Art thou clement in Spring?
    Thou art wandering in thy kingdom.
    Thou art greeting the dear god of Spring,
    which is leaving green footprints behind." 

Notes on the text received.

I couldn't work out the syntax of the first sentence, viz the
relationships between "winter", "the old, the sick, and children", "a
big cat hunting", "a rock on which moss can grow", "shameless teeth"
and "sharp claws brought to the hunt". Or rather, my best guess at the
syntax didn't yield a very plausible meaning. So I decided to go for
the plausible meaning. 

Sent:

For the elderly, for the sick and for children, winter
is as if it were a mossy rock, half buried in the grass,
a predatory beast, with ruthless incisive teeth and claws.

    To it is said "In spring, are you clement?
    And you now about your realm are roaming
    And warmly clasp in greeting the hand of the Spring
    sprite who makes green footprints." 

Notes on the translation.

1. I forget why I mentioned the rock before the beast. If I had had
the time, I might have change the translation here.

2. Mossy. The source has "on which moss can grow". Presumably the
relevance of "can grow" is that it is so still for so long a time that
moss can grow. But I decided not to be too finicky here about
translating "can grow", since it is in the nature of rocks that they
are still for a long time, especially if it is a "sgen", half buried
in the ground. I considered rendering "moss(y)" literally, with
"ddhenqgwor", which, if placed at the end of the line, would provide a
further sound echo with "vehrvor" and "osqror". But I settled on
"dthoddhe", because it could describe not only moss on a rock but
bristly hair on the hide of a beast; I take the rock to be what the
beast is like - still, waiting, half-hidden.

3. I took "big hunting cat" to mean felix panthera, so initially
rendered it as "ghaaghgha", which has that meaning. But it didn't seem
that the felinity was crucial: what was crucial is that it is a
predatory beast. So I used the more general term "kkhadsro", whose
meaning also explicitly has an element of predatoriness.

6. I took the "we" of the source text ("we ask") to be a generic "we",
so left it implicit in the translation.

7. "it": I added the explicit "it" ("To it is said") in order to help
the next translator. But in an ordinary text I'd have left it
implicit.

8. "warmly clasp the hand in greeting". The word in the source text
means "greeting, handshake". I went for the less bland and more
particular option in translating it.

9. "sprite": "khnqyvva" means a naiad/dryad/nereid-like being, rather
than a god; a khnqyvva is the spirit or soul of a thing, not a god
that controls it and is external to it. "khnqyvva" fits the context
much better than god, since in the text one is implicitly greeting the
Spring, not only the god of Spring. Furthermore, the version with
"khnqyvva" would make perfect sense to a Livagian weltanschauung,
whereas a version with a more exact translation of "god" would
immediately transpose the text into some alien mythology, rather than
reflecting a universal experience of winter.

11. I forgot to translate "dear" in the source text ("dear god"), but
perhaps the "warmly clasp the hand" gets across the dearness of the
greetee.

10. The brevity of the Livagian and the alterations to word order made
it hard to preserve with fidelity the lineation pattern of the
original. 

Sent:

The elderly, the sick, and the children perceive winter as a sharp
rock surrounded by soft grass. The winter is a greedy being. They
think the winter pursues them. Truly, they believe winter knows the
difference between right and wrong, but it tears flesh with bone
[anyway]. Someone says, "While spring wanders and rules, you will
possibly possess kindness. And you will give the spring friendly
greetings while fairies dance and make green markings [in the
world]."

[the things in brackets indicate something implicit in the narethanaal
text that there aren't actually words denoting, but that make the
english translation more smooth] 

Sent:

In winter, the old, the sick and the young gather by the soft grass
among the rocks. They are wolves. They think the winter is pursuing
them. But the bear believes winter knows the true difference between
right and wrong. Someone says: 'When the underground folk dance and
sing, when the green spring greets you happily, lead other and go
[about] yourselves'. 

Received:

During winter, the old, the sick, and the young always gather near the
soft grass by the stones. The wolf is. We believe that winter forces
it. The bear however, suspects that winter truly knows the difference
of good and evil. It is said: when the leprechauns dance and sing,
when green spring sends you happy greetings, lead others and go
yourselves.

Sent:

During winter, those who are old, sick or young always come together
near the soft grass by thamong the stones. The wolf is a wolf. We
believe that winter forces it. Besides, the tiger thinks that winter
understands the difference between good and evil. It is said: when the
shilla dance and sing, when green spring makes joyfull greetings go to
you, lead others and go yourselves.

Sent:

In the winter, the old and sick ones as well as the young ones always
gather in the soft grass among the stones. And then there are the
wolves. We think winter forces them to do things, but they think
winter knows the differences between good and evil well. It is said
that if fairies dance and sing, and if the green spring makes joyful
greetings come to you, then lead the others while following your own
self. 

Received:

In the winter, the old and the weak/sick, and also the young, always
gather inside the stones that are in the soft grass. And also there
are wolves. We think that winter causes things to be done to them, but
we think that winter evidently/obviously knows the difference between
good and evil. It is said that if daemons/fairies/spirits dance and
sing, and if the green spring sends through the air their happy
greetings to you, while following oneself, please lead to the other
one. 

Sent:

During winter, the old and the weak and also the young gather inside
of the stone which is ~at the soft grass. Also, there's a wolf. We
believe these things are done to them by winter, but, we believe that
winter evidently knows (evil's difference from good / the difference
between good and evil). If sub-deities dance and sing, and, if the
green spring sends good greetings to you in the air, while one follows
oneself, lead to the other. 

Received:

In winter, the old, the sick and the very young gather in the stones
at the soft grass.

There are many wolves.

We believe these things were done to them by winter, but we believe
you, winter, can tell the difference between good and evil.

If spirits dance and sing; and if you all, green spring in the sky,
send good greetings to him; during the following, lead yourself to the
other! 

Sent: